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Jimmy Kennan / Blog

Introducing Hobblin' Black Francis!

Don't you just love name generators on the Internet? It's the single most addictive past time when you're online. Some would dare say that it's why the Internet was created. And I would heartily agree. Junkyard Academy's "fearless(?)" leader, Lewis, has suggested that I procure a moniker that best suits my personality within the context of the band. Being the over-thinking type that I am, I spent at least a few minutes entering my given name, hitting "Submit", and copy-and-pasting the various fake identities that popped up. Some of the results included: Omega Apex, Hobblin' Scurvy McGee, Black Francis, The Green Gopher, Cap'n Hannibal Knocknees, Ryan Seacrest. Oh, so many choices, so few firing synapses. Therefore, I say unto thee that thou must, as Zuul once said, "CHOOSE, AND PERISH." Okay, maybe not the perish part, but definitely choose. Which nickname from the above would best suit the antics of a timekeeper in a pop band? (DISCLAIMER: This list is unofficial; therefore, I might just stick with "Bob".)