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Nobody Likes Dwight / Blog

Don’t Eat the Slippery Dick

Greetings, Spring has arrived and it is commonly a time of year when a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of conservationism. It is currently quite trendy and a fabulous marketing tool for musicians, artists and actors to care about endangered species and to spread knowledge via social networks the way America spreads democracy via militarism throughout the world. As a member of an independant musical group looking to promote a big event and make a difference in the world I have decided to that environmentalism may just be the ticket. However to be cool one has to pick an animal that nobody else has yet conservated. So, to this end, I have grasped onto the Slippery Dick as my cause celebre.

The Halichoeres Bivittatus, better known as the Slippery Dick, is a fish native to the tropical shallow waters of the western Atlantic Ocean. Slippery Dicks come in a variety of colours. They can be white, brown, occasionally purple or even red. According to my research the slippery Dick can range in length from 4” to a mammoth 14”. Slippery Dicks can be kept as pets but require large aquaria and can be aggressive towards other species.

Although the Slippery Dick does not fall into the endangered category, nor have I found any suggestion that their numbers are less than substantial, I am concerned with the current trend of eating Slippery Dick. The popularity of the Slippery Dick is increasing and rarely a day goes by that I don’t overhear someone suggest to a co-worker, friend, or family member that they should in fact eat a slippery dick. I’m always appreciative of new culinary trends but I’m afraid that the more people learn to enjoy the tasty Slippery Dick, the risk of extinction will increase for this warm wet environment loving animal. To this end I plead....DON’T EAT THE SLIPPERY DICK!! I know the temptation to put a Slippery Dick in your mouth can be overwhelming given the current popularity of this delicacy but please share the plight of the noble Slippery Dick with others. I for one do not wish to live in a world bereft of Slippery Dicks. I thank you for your concern and hope you will share this cause with your friends. Remember, no good can come from eating Slippery Dicks!!