I left Denver Colo. Feb. of 2012 for Port Hueneme CA to make a personal attempt at change in my life that was way bigger than a simple 1,200 mile geographical. An attempt that I've made more times than your average Beverly Hills house wife gets plastic surgery in her life. It's by no means a unique change but a miracle nevertheless that I'm drug and alcohol free today, and I know most people don't make it out alive from the lifestyle I was living. Those that know me, no doubt raised an eyebrow & rolled their eyes I'm sure when they heard I was trying again. Nonetheless I found a life out here in Los Angeles that I never planned on having. A real life that I would be a fool to trade in - but I'm leaving California. I'm going back to Colorado to play the blues, but that's not the best part of leaving California. I have family in Colorado - some are happy and healthy, some are sick, and some have passed since I've been away. I wanna hug them all, ask how they are, and go say a prayer at my Grandmas headstone that now lay next to dads - I miss them. I have friends, real lifelong friends in Colo. that I think about and that think about me. They too have experienced life since I've been away; some thriving, some falling ill, some losing people closest to them, some making changes, and some doing the same old shit in the same old places and I love em' all. I can't wait to hug them, ask how they are, and play them the blues and hopefully it'll take both of us to a different place if only for a few moments - that's not the best part of leaving California.
Colorado and it's people are beautiful, 2nd to none. Truth is, I've a meaningful relationship out here in Cali.with an awesome girl who has proved one of the few good ones. I've found some peace and clarity, and made some bonds with people that are truly lifelong. I'm so grateful for the experience I've had out here and the people I would do anything for and them the same for me. This is truly a special and beautiful place with beautiful people 2nd to none. However I can't wait to purge and heal my soul playing the blues with my brother. We're truly blessed Brian. I can't wait to hug my mother for once with meat on my bones and honesty in my voice, and take in her smile and her hope, that she now proudly displays. Damn I'm blessed - but that's not the best part either.
The best part of leaving California is knowing I get to return to California when I'm ready. I have a home here now, and even if my belongings still consist of two duffel bags and a few guitars, and I don't have an actual room here once I leave, I know one will be made for me upon my return. My friend told me; " I know how much Colorado means to you, but you're needed and wanted in California too now..." - Damn I'm blessed