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The Kansas City Bear Fighters / Blog

KCBFs abducted by aliens, anally probed, returned to Earth happier & healthier

The KCBFs had just finished with a grueling 3 week tour, performing concerts in various island nations of East Asia where they enjoy wild popularity -- having starred in several toothpaste commercials and various ads for toilet bowl cleaners.

The KCBFs were relaxing on a mountainside, peacefully minding their own business among a herd of water buffalo, enjoying a beautiful Indonesian sunset. The sky suddenly clouded over and began to churn and flicker as if a tornado from hell was coming to swallow them up. To their surprise, an enormous alien spacecraft emerged from the bubbling sky and sucked them up through a huge vacuum cleaner. (Contrary to popular belief, alien technology has not yet developed the ability to teleport organic matter, so they use a giant vacuum instead.)

After a bumpy ride up an oversized Hoover, the were spit onto an operating table where a team of little green men in silver suits began to tie the KCBFs down one-by-one with super-human strength, and then proceeded to tickle them. It was relentless. It was horrible. It was like no tickle session any human has endured. You think your uncle Terrence was unrelenting, but boy you ain't seen nothin.

And later on into the early hours of the morning, they were all anally probed. However, this was no biggie compared to the brutal alien-tickle-experiment. The KCBFs were quite pleased that the tickling had stopped, despite the fact that anal probing had begun. Soon after, they were deposited back onto the hillside where the abduction occurred the evening before, completely coherent and aware of the activities that had taken place aboard the alien spacecraft.

Due to the events of that fateful night, the KCBFs now enjoy the benefits of whiter teeth, better reflexes, and regular bowel movements.