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anita ferrer/ Asbury Park Angel / Blog

I AM A PIT BULL!

I am not a victim. I am a conqueror! I am a Pit Bull and no one can take away my calling!

“Do it or Die.” Dreams are realized because I create, produce and face that demon, Dystonia.

I beat this daunting, mysterious “movement disorder” that has no cure, nor do doctors know what causes it. It can’t deter my forward momentum, yet imagine having some giant yank your mouth open wide every second! The incessant movement of my jaw and the tension on the upper cervical area has me drained by mid afternoon. Enthusiasm and energy must be forced to get through a studio recording session.. Mercifully, the singing relives my pain slightly so I can resume tracking and lay down guitar tracks.

One hour of tracking vocals makes me so drained I can only finish my MOD PROPHET project session by laying on my producers couch as he tweaks the mix. I pray for strength and excellence, envisioning the completion of the four-year long project. I count my blessings that I’m not paralyzed or impotent in my hands. It could always be worse. On alternate weeks, I track my CCM worship Cd, “The Passion.” Completion is slightly ahead of Mod Prophet, but it’s still very slow going scraping the finances.The Passion is inspired by my blazing love for for a deep and fathomable God, under the constant duress of unbearable pain. Undaunted, I forge forward on a wing and a prayer.

In the meantime, I juggle a hectic schedule while writing a five book series, “Arise From Your Grave” and continue my faithful blogging on WordPress and BlogSpot. So many tghing and so little time along with all the myriad, tedious, but necessary tasks related to waering all teh hats of sing-songwriter/performer/worship leader, wife, minister, life coach, sister, daughter, friend . Keeping a forward momentum is very difficult, but at the end of the day. I’m humbled and astounded that I accomplished anything!

If Lance Armstrong can victor over his cancer, I can certainly transcend my mountain!.

I look back at my challenging life full of doctor visits, never-ending tests and experimental treatments that I pray will be back to my old self. At times I weep my way to my gig at a new restaurant, but once I start signing, the pain relents! One look at the smiling, expectant wheelchair and paraplegic clients of the rehabilitation center makes me realize how small my struggle really is. My journey has made me an icon for the physically challenged.

Other signer-songwriters enjoy their music journey, garnering accolades as they finish national tours. I’ve learned to make peace with a wicked twist of fate and gain a deeply empathetic perspective to the handicapped, weak and the aged and a sense of humor.In my race, I have no qualms about falling backward to help someone who has fallen or lost their way.

Books will continue to be written and songs released to create an awareness of divine health, emotional healing and true peace. I scope the lanscale of my journey with my beloved COOLPIC digital camera, capturing every beautiful tghing that mesmerizes my eyes! I will focus on the loveliness of everything around me for loveliness is what keeps me strong and thankful.

Soon, my physical misery will be just a memory and I will remind everyone suffering with a health or mental condition that there is hope the the Lord! My calling…to illuminate dark paths so that others can see their way forward and upward. In my mind and spirit, Dystonia is gone. I am healed and Dystonia is the most difficult frontier conquered as I scale my mountain top!

I hope that reading this, you’ll partake with me this tedious, but incredible journey so I can take my inspirational message to the world.