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Terrance Scott / Blog

My Heart's Window Pt. 2

I AM A VICTIM ALL THAT I THINK I KNEW HAS BEEN STRIPPED AWAY FROM ME BUT WHO CAN I RUN TO? WHO CAN I CONFIDE IN WHO WILL LISTEN.............. BECAUSE MY VICTIM IS ALL AROUND ME CONSTANTLY REMINDING ME OF ALL MY FAILED ATTEMPTS TO PICK UP THE BROKEN PIECES OF MY LIFE............. FROM A DISTANCE I SEE HIM I CAN SEE THE HATRED IN HIS EYES I CAN SMELL THE PRIDE IN HIS BREATH I AM PARALYZED BY HIS GAZE I TRY TO TURN AWAY BUT IT IS TO NO AVAIL FOR HE HAS ALREADY TAKEN A HUGE PART OF ME................. THROUGH MY TEARS I FINALLY TURN AWAY BECAUSE MY ANGER HAS REPLACED MY FEAR ANGER FOR EVER LETTING MYSELF GO ANGER FOR EVER BEFRIENDING COMPROMISE FOR LUSTING AFTER AVERAGE FOR SLEEPING WITH COMPLACENCY AND CHEATING ON MY FUTURE WITH THE PLEASURES OF THE PRESENT AND WEIGHTS OF THE PAST............... I SHOULD HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SO PROMISCOUS FOR I DID THIS TO MYSELF SO I PULL FROM THE DEEPEST PART OF MY SPIRIT THE PART OF ME THAT WON'T DIE AND I GATHER THE COURAGE AND I TURN BACK TO LOOK AT HIM FUELED BY MY NEW PASSION I LOOK INTO THE MIRROR FOR THE ENEMY IS ME I AM OWN WORST ENEMY WHEN DESTINY CALLED ME TO A HIGHER PLACE I WAS THE ONE WHO HELD ME BACK WHEN GREATNESS PUSHED ME TO BREAKTHROUGH I PULLED ME BACK INTO BREAKDOWN I AM THE VICTIM AND I AM THE PERP................ BUT I WON'T LAY DOWN AND DIE BECAUSE MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING A VICTIM I AM A VICTOR................ I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME DEFINES ME I CHOOSE TO WIN BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE MADE MISTAKES MY MISTAKES WILL NEVER MAKE ME............................

MY HEART'S WINDOW

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU'RE CHOSEN? WELL THAT DEPENDS WHAT DOES CHOSEN "FEEL" LIKE CAUSE IF YOU DO BAD, YOU "FEEL" WRONG BUT IF YOU DO GOOD YOU "FEEL" RIGHT IF YOU'RE IN A VALLEY YOU"FEEL" DEATH YET WHEN YOU WORSHIP YOU "FEEL" LIFE SO IT WOULD SEEM THAT YOU COULD TRUST HOW YOU "FEEL" RIGHT............... YET WE LIVE IN AN ILL LIGHT IN A LAND WHERE WE KILL, SPITE, AND DEAL SHIEST BECAUSE PEOPLE'S WILL TO FIGHT WAS STILL RIPE LAID BARREN AND TRAMPLED BY HEARTS LUSTING FOR THRILLS LIKE IT 'S NOT ENOUGH THAT HOW WE FEEL IS CONCEALED TWICE THE FIRST LAYER IS FAKE SMILES THAT HOLD OVER GUARDING THE GATE TO THE SECOND LAYER WHERE PRIDE GROWS BOLDER BEING FUELED BY HARDENED HEARTS, HARD SOULS AND COLD SHOULDERS THAT, LEFT UNRESOLVED GROW COLDER CAUSE WE DON'T VALUE IT ENOUGH TO ADDRESS AS WE GROW OLDER................ AND BECAUSE IT GOES UNRESOLVED, YOU LACK THE CORRECT PRONUNCIATION TO ARTICULATE THE WOUNDS SO YOU FEEL PSEUDO OBLIGATIONS TO HAVE COOKIE-CUTTER FRIENDS AND SEEKER-FRIENDLY RELATIONS ALL THE WHILE YOU PEOPLE PLEASE WHILE SPEWING VERBAL INFESTATIONS ALL YOUR THOUGHTS WRAPPED IN FRUSTRATION CAUSE YOUR SOUL LACKS EDUCATION ON HOW TO ACT UPON THE IMPULSES THAT DEFINE YOUR COMPLICATIONS............. SO YOU TRY TO FORM WORDS, YET THEY LACK THE FINESS AND YOU TRY TO ACT IT OUT, YET NEVER QUITE COMPLETE THE QUEST CAUSE WHAT YOU REALLY WANNA DO IS GET THIS "SOMETHING" OFF YOUR CHEST THAT CERTAIN WORDS JUST DON'T DESCRIBE AND OTHER WORDS JUST CAN'T EXPRESS................ AND YET TWO WORDS ALWAYS SEEM TO ESCAPE FROM YOUR BREATH I FEEL............... SO WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T "FEEL" LIKE YOU'RE CHOSEN WHEN YOU CAN'T "FEEL" GOD'S FIRE AND YOU LIFE "FEELS" LIKE IT'S BROKEN WHEN SIN TAKES HOW YOU "FEEL" AND THEN STEALS YOUR DEVOTION THEN KILLS YOUR CONFIDENCE AND DESTROYS WHAT YOU HOPE IN WHEN YOU "FEEL" SO GUILTY GOD'S WORD STILL DOESN'T GET OPENED GET OVER IT CAUSE YOUR "FEELINGS" ARE JUST EMOTIONS AND THEY WILL NEVER POSSESS THE WEIGHT TO OUTWEIGH WHAT GOD'S SPOKEN.................

David F
David F  (about 3 years ago)

What's true is true no matter how we happen to feel at any particular moment. Keep doing what you know you have to do. As for being chosen, think about this: you remember how, at school, there were always team games and some poor little guy was always the last to be chosen? It's not like that with Jesus. He didn't take you just because no-one else would. He chose you. You, specifically. He really, really wants YOU.
Blessings,
David