ColdmaN5
ColdmaN5
Hilliard, OH
Comedy / Experimental / Corrugated
| Status | Getting ready for the release of our next album in August. More details soon! |
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Bio
Forged out of an unfunny joke in December, 2004, the decision to turn ColdmaN5 into a REAL band occurred some time in January, 2005. The "band" forgoes conventional wisdom, using ONLY pre-made loops to construct their music, while the horrid, off-key vocals destroy anything they could possibly have going for it.
Yet despite all that, they just released their 18th "studio" album ("3 Faces of July") this past March. Eat it.
About
ColdmaN5, a band that thrives to a.) eliminate any preconceived notions about what music "could", or "should" be, and b.) suck horribly, with little to no redeeming factors, is nevertheless one of the most original bands ever assembled, in Ohio, or in the eight other states that comprise the United States of America. Using a bizarre, patented (U.S. Trademark # 14141528) humor that sticks in the head long after it's been vomited up, ColdmaN5 went through a wonderful musical phase that lasted a mere two years...and seventeen releases.
What kind of band can release 17 CDs (including compilations) in just a mere two years? A band that uses only loops for music, rather than writing their own. A band that strives for literally no image whatsoever. In ColdmaN5's universe, whether it be marketing, or the songs themselves, anything goes. And yet there is something oddly listenable about it all; from the horribly off-key vocals (half the time it doesn't even sound like they're trying), to the songs that frequently go nowhere (or end abruptly, feature constant interruptions, etc.), and on through the bizarre "stories" (like the one where Russell Crowe teams up with Mel Gibson, David Spade, and Corey Feldman at the 2005 Oscars to fight back against aliens who are trying to take over the world by drying the eyes of all mankind).
Maybe it's the fact that it's defiantly uncommercial; that rare band that dares to tread to sonic boundaries that no mainstream band ever thinks of attempting. Or the fact that it rises far above what should be (and originally was) a one-joke premise, rising far above the amateurishness of it all to deliver something that listeners have never heard. Or never will hear again. Or maybe it's the fact that N5 could never be pigeon-holed into any single category; their songs veer across so many musical genres (rock, death metal, rap, spoken word, country, Latin pop, and more), and even in media outlets and genres OUTSIDE of music (stand-up, newscasts, commercial jingles, plays, skits, etc.). Maybe it's the fact they've risen above any forms of critique; everything bad or slanderous you could ever say about them, they have already said about themselves...or used in marketing materials (Worst Band Ever, anyone?) Or perhaps it's the fact that, despite the odds and evidence pointing to the contrary, they're just so damn...brilliant.
In a madcap, nonsensical kinda way, but brilliant nonetheless. How will such a bravely unmarketable band leave their mark on the world? The real question is, even if they don't, do they care?
What kind of band can release 17 CDs (including compilations) in just a mere two years? A band that uses only loops for music, rather than writing their own. A band that strives for literally no image whatsoever. In ColdmaN5's universe, whether it be marketing, or the songs themselves, anything goes. And yet there is something oddly listenable about it all; from the horribly off-key vocals (half the time it doesn't even sound like they're trying), to the songs that frequently go nowhere (or end abruptly, feature constant interruptions, etc.), and on through the bizarre "stories" (like the one where Russell Crowe teams up with Mel Gibson, David Spade, and Corey Feldman at the 2005 Oscars to fight back against aliens who are trying to take over the world by drying the eyes of all mankind).
Maybe it's the fact that it's defiantly uncommercial; that rare band that dares to tread to sonic boundaries that no mainstream band ever thinks of attempting. Or the fact that it rises far above what should be (and originally was) a one-joke premise, rising far above the amateurishness of it all to deliver something that listeners have never heard. Or never will hear again. Or maybe it's the fact that N5 could never be pigeon-holed into any single category; their songs veer across so many musical genres (rock, death metal, rap, spoken word, country, Latin pop, and more), and even in media outlets and genres OUTSIDE of music (stand-up, newscasts, commercial jingles, plays, skits, etc.). Maybe it's the fact they've risen above any forms of critique; everything bad or slanderous you could ever say about them, they have already said about themselves...or used in marketing materials (Worst Band Ever, anyone?) Or perhaps it's the fact that, despite the odds and evidence pointing to the contrary, they're just so damn...brilliant.
In a madcap, nonsensical kinda way, but brilliant nonetheless. How will such a bravely unmarketable band leave their mark on the world? The real question is, even if they don't, do they care?
