“We can never know what to want,
because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives
nor perfect it in our lives to come.”
I've been thinking a lot about this
line from one of my favorite novels, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, lately.
In creating artwork of any kind, for personal pleasure or public consumption, there
is a certain amount of letting go that must take place. What we hear/see/think/feel
will never perfectly be expressed outwardly the way we experience it internally.
And if we aren't careful, we can lose focus on our reason for creating altogether.
In the writing, recording, re-writing, re-recording, etc
of this new project, In Transit, I have been faced with new questions and
challenges to my approach and purpose for making this music and sharing it with
you all. The desire to perfect these songs comes dangerously close at times
to a desire to compare these songs with those that have even the faintest connection
with my own.
But this process has taught me a lot about myself as a
listener as much as a songwriter. What I look for in others is not always what I
want from myself. Some of the songs I am most proud of but was quickest to reject
initially don't sound wrong but different than what my listening self is used to.
I may never know for sure what I want from myself as a songwriter, but I am committed
to live the one life I have and embrace the imperfections of the present.
This week should bring closure to the recording of the In
Transit project and I am growing more and more excited about
the rough edges, loose straps, and general realism I have for too long worked to
"correct" with these songs. To my NYC friends and family, I have a couple
really nice nights of music coming up. First this Wednesday the 27th I'm at ZirZamin
on Houston St. and next Tuesday March 5th I make my first musical venture into the
depths of Brooklyn at Two Moon
Art House and Cafe.
you all for your continued love and support. Look out for some concrete In Transit
dates and sounds in next month's letter!
"patron saints are
watching over at least one of us tonight"