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TENDER / Bio

San Francisco's greatest post modern Sherm/Psyche band. Perhaps the first and only band to explore the audio contours of PCP/Angel Dust/Boat. 3 albums of pure Click-Em (cigarette or marijuana joint dipped in formaldehyde) fun, imbued with the same strong essence attributed to a handcuffed, shirtless, Richard Ramirez look-a-likes with Freddy Prinz mustaches. Tender, will metaphorically, break the handcuffs off, grab a couple of handfuls of cop nuts, turn and yank them viciously in circles, get up off the ground and run away down the street followed by the wailing of sirens and the anguished cries of the newly spayed pigs and droplets of blood which eventually lead law enforcement to the hideout behind the dumpster where the assailant is tasering themselves while picking the remaining skin on his face down to the skeleton whereby a new hero/villain is baptized in the blood of another PCP freakout / drug tragedy. If you find yourself wanting more out of life then your average bullshit, smoke a Sherm, turn the Tender on, tear-off your clothes and break on through to the other side.

INTERVIEW BY TONY DUSHANE:
Q: Was there a band you heard when you were young that inspired you to become a musician? a few are okay.
A: TENDER: Bad Brains, Black Flag, Fang and Fear, Mentors, Charles Manson, Sabbath, Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, The Clash

Q: How would you describe your sound?
A: A lone berdache hugging a tree in a sweat lodge; the sonic equivalent of a wet dog wafting above the delicate sage smudge stick clearing the bad energy of the space in question. Off to the right a portrait of Chief Iron Eyes Cody gazes serenely at yet another picture of Mary Baker Eddy who seems to be non-plussed by the obvious wig of Iron Eyes Cody and Elmer Fudd good looks in the smoke-filled air. Mary Baker Eddy is also psychically willing Chief Iron Eyes Cody to opt out of the shot schedule suggested by his personal physician, which had some unintended health effects (dead) sadly.

Q: What is the main theme of your music?
A: Spaying and neutering cats and dogs and making people happy, crystal alignments, hard drugs are bad, soft rock is good, but if you do them hit me up on my celly (you can not see where the equipment is kept, however). Galactic alignments. San Onofre: isn’t that where Ronald Reagan is from? Or should be? A fault line is a great place to put a nuclear power plant. Forward thinking.

Q: How does living in the Bay Area affect your music?
A: Can we answer a question with a question? How did it affect Starship when they were writing the seminal “We Built This City”? (But hopefully not to the same degree …)

Q: What's the most important aspect to putting on a live show?
A: Well we like to start out with a little bikram yoga, a pro-biotic, macro-biotic team building group enema in our crystal sweatlodge / rehearsal space, then it’s off to the show, where we try set up people for bogus drugs buys with a crack team of Jumpstreet looking undercover agents from the Northern Station. Then we whip people into a sonic frenzy with our drug-addled galactic alignment banter, after the show “Starsky and Hutch” give us a big thumbs up as the paddy wagon takes everyone off to 850 Bryant.

Q: Which of your lyrics best defines your bands and why?
A: TENDER started writing a rock opera based on a protagonist from the deep south who came to San Francisco on a hillbilly holiday which stretched out to 4 years and ended in the halls of justice where the protagonist was sued by a local waitress for making a mash potato mountain ala “Close Encounters”, of cigarette butts. The city of San Francisco found his backwoods mooching sleazy even by San Francisco standards, and awarded the plaintiff $500 dollars to be paid immediately by the unemployed ne’er-do-well. Not long after that he hauled ass back to Macon County, Georgia, just in time for the grand opening of the Allman Brothers family museum. However odd that this may seem, it was the impetus for writing many of the songs. Whatever the protagonist did that was negative we found positive, he was our muse with emanations of psychic kudzu emitting from his body in waves of inertia that enveloped our minds: thus the stage for sonic excellence was born.

Q: If your band could collaborate on a song with any person, living or dead, who would that be?
A: Prince, Will Shatter, William Shatner, Joe Strummer, Bobby Beausoleil, and El Duce

Q: If a junior high school asked you to play a cover song at the next talent show, what song would you choose?
A: The Golden Age of the Hustlers by Bambi Lake

Q: How did you come up with your band name and what does it mean to you?
A: TENDER was inspired by an Air Supply record where 2 cool dudes in 80’s clothes sat on the end of a pier, with mellow mousse hair, in Sausalito dangling their feet in the water while feeding seagulls rendered in soft pastels. And thus the stage for naming excellence was born. (We don’t know what it was about that picture, but it always stuck with us …)

Q: What bands inspire you?
A: Can, Chrome, Creedance, Kraut Rock … you know, all the classics …

Q: How did the band come together?
A: We have played together off and on for years, in seminal underground bands in Austin, LA, NOLA, San Francisco. Bands like F***Emos, The Leaving Trains, Fuel, Bacchus, Backhand to name a few.

General Info

Band Members
Whitey Sims - Vocals, Ed the Creep - Guitar, ElRod? - Guitar, Hjeffe - Drums, Nick Patriot - Bass
Artist Name
TENDER
Home Page
http://www.reverbnation.com/tenderband
Genres
Alternative / blues / punk

Contact Info

Location
San Francisco, CA
Manager
SELF