Raised by wolves in the high Sierra Nevada mountains of Mexico, Cain was educated in Switzerland by unic monks. He was kidnapped by a band of unemployed Swedish pencil sharpeners and worked in a peanut brittle mine for 67 years. After defeating the Nazi's in WWII he began his musical career as a bass kazoo player in the Azuza Kazoo Band. He quickly rose up the ranks by humiliating the conductor in a staring contest. He became the fifth Beatle but quit the band because of "creative differences." Cain soon became Miles Davis' trumpet player and lead singer for Elvis Presley. The rest is history.