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For the better part of 10 years, Sneezeguard has been the best-kept secret in the Champlain Valley.
What started as a science experiment in the greater Richmond area ended up attracting electric flying proboscis monkeys to play synth's and git-tar's. But every cloudy mojito has a sliver of lime.
College set in and the monkeys were forced into a life of pursuing brains. Fresh, healthy brains. Then they got over it.
Then one day, somebody decided to grow a mustache. "Why spoil a good thing?" remarked the Gov'nor. "The Sneeze Guards [sic] have every right to grow upper-lip hair. If anybody says no, they aren't any better than an Epil or Nair product."
With the blessing of the Gov'nor, the band saved Martin Luther King Jr. Day, thwarted censorship in baseball, and brought world-pizza to Mardi Gras.