*December 2011 – While tending to his garden under the light of a full moon, Professor Brandon Aloysius Zueger discovered an odd formation in the stars above him. Using the skills he obtained from his high school diving team, he quickly deciphered a pattern in the stars. A pattern he felt would not only change his life, but the course of mankind. Being that he was only viewing this through his own naked eye, and the fact that he was high on LSD, he knew he had to be sure.
So he called up two of his colleagues. Professor John Woodrow Mann III, an expert in the field of Theraclone Science who had recently devoted his life to curing sexually transmitted diseases through sandwiches. And Professor Erik Ulysses Renteria, who was recently running off the recent success of proving once and for all that Monkeys believe in justice and govern themselves accordingly.
For months, the three scholars studied this formation from Professor Zuegers backyard. But their research was turning up little answers, hindered by the fact that neither of the gentleman owned a telescope. Professor Renteria mentioned that he knew an astronomer studying dark matter in the Andromeda galaxy and that he could possibly own a telescope. Later that evening, Professor Rick Herbert Norris, author of the book “Let Me Put My Science In You," joined the team. The boys instantly new the professor was legit, as the telescope had a picture of Bill Nye The Science guy on it.
Countless hours passed, in which these four men ingested copious amounts of hallucinogens and unlocked the mysteries of the universe, the details in which are classified. Deeming humanity not ready for the truth, these brave scientists decided to suppress their newly acquired knowledge and start a rock band instead.
Thus Eros was born. Although Eros still in their infancy, they have exploded onto the scene playing countless shows in 2012 with countless bands, and playing the Seattle semi-finals for Hard Rock Rising Battle of the Bands at the Hard Rock Café. After a very long year, Eros has returned home after recording at the World Famous House of Rock in Beverly Hills CA, working with Grammy awarding producer, Jack Joseph Puig.
The professors are currently toiling away on new material in an effort to own 2013. New Music. New Album. New Merch. When asked about the new direction, bass player Erik said “We’re going for more awesome.” I’m not sure what that means. My guess is that it was something Spanish related. My grandmother on my mother’s side owned a dry cleaners and spoke a little Spanish. But she recently suffered a stroke and has been unable to communicate. I asked the people at Taco Bell, but they just kept trying to keep the drive-thru line moving.
*This Bio is best read in Morgan Freeman’s voice.