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THE BONEDEVIL emerged long ago from the womb of MOTHER EARTH as a conjoined growth on the TAINT OF JESUS CHRIST. JOSEPH incised the deformity and carelessly threw it into a fire. THE BONEDEVIL smouldered for the following 2011 years.
As the FOUR HORSEMEN of the APOCALYPSE rode noisily across the plains of the now very angry MOTHER EARTH, they awoke THE BONEDEVIL, who possessed an anger equal to that which he had been borne of. THE BONEDEVIL, hungry after over 2000 years of smouldering starvation, consumed the FOUR HORSEMEN. Unable to contain the overwhelming power of this combination, THE BONEDEVIL was forced to imbue the ethereal remains of his dinner as well as his own raw power into FOUR HARD MEN from Oshawa, Ontario.
The chosen ones celebrated their birth, and from then on were known simply as THE BONEDEVIL. Consumed by hatred at the inherent foolishness of their surroundings, THE BONEDEVIL were not content. They urinated MOLTEN LAVA on JOSEPHS FIRE, and spent eons travelling, spewing the power of their creator (and his dinner) all over the filth soaked walls of the BEER PARLOURS OF SOUTHERN ONTARIO.
With the proceeds earned from these most heinous crimes, they spewed even more SHIT-HOT ROCK AND ROLL into the computer systems of a MAD GENIUS, whom also dabbled occasionally in recording. As a result, two absolutely POISONOUS 7” records were created. Legend has it that those who hear the arcane cacophony are driven mad with desire, a desire to DESTROY the imbalanced forces of absolute TYRANNY that threaten to injure MOTHER EARTH.
THE BONEDEVIL seeks to spew their influence messily all over the galaxy, and beyond. In the last billion years or so, THE BONEDEVIL faltered, briefly parted by the actions of ROBOT CAPITALISTS OF THE FUTURE. They have reunited, and the date of the reunion, DECEMBER 21st is to be the BEGINNING OF A TRUE NEW WORLD ORDER. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on...wait, how does that go?