so afraid, afraid, afraid, afraid

joking
mistaking
and finally...
...just breaking

of course I know
this is no real solution
and it's never meant to be
but it just works great for now
so go away, get out of my way
I'll go on pretending I'm alright and okay
please don't ask and don't try to understand
why I choke my hope, kill it with my own hands

I live the great pretending
I wish it was never ending

I know
there's no need to hate, but I'm so afraid
and I don't know how else to get rid off it
hating is so much easier than keeping control
but as I hate and hate, I'm getting tired, I'm getting old

I pretend to love while I'm hating
I pretend to live while I'm waiting
I pretend to love while I'm hating
I pretend to live while I'm waiting
to die

nothing hurts more then lies

now you may say I'm a hypocrite
but I can assure you, this all does fit
maybe you got me wrong
I know what I do but not where I belong