Like a Lady by Adam Rudegeair

After I get home,
And I’m sitting in my eloquence throne,
Pick up the telephone,
And dial your numero,
Doncha know, it starts with a double O.

Pour myself a long scotch,
You know I just like to watch,
As your mellifluous butterscotch
Paints a perfect picture, and now you’re richer.

Somebody get me a fan,
Think my temperature’s taken all it can,
The image of you flickers on the back of my eyelids and—
I saw your tattoo just dripped down your back…oooh!

CHORUS
And I’ve never seen your face
And I don’t know your real name
You don’t ask where I’ve ben
But you know I’ve been a bad boy again.
I may not be no saint
But you ain’t no Marsha Brady
One things for sure:
You don’t get down like a lady.

My friends told me it’s just cheap sex,
I said “Cheap?!” Showed em what it costs to connect
If only you’d accept when I call you collect
Baby when I get a frown – you turn it upside down

By the time I get halfway through my bottle
My bad hands on the phone, my good one’s easin on the throttle.
I’m having contemplations make me a sex Aristotle
Every time you sigh, my credit card wanna cry.

Bridge:
Ain’t it cool?
Cause you don’t have to meet my folks
And you don’t have to laugh at my silly little jokes
We ain’t caught up in no relationship hoax
I didn’t cut you a key, cause you know what you mean to me.

CHORUS

I was on my hands and knees, scrubbin your floor
I worked it to the bone, you worked me till I cried poor
You spank me for hours and I wake up…sore
And by the early morning, you’ve spent me empty,
Hang up, and pass out on the--