Check out them scumbags slopping around
She had an azz you just had to pound
Check out them weasels flopping around
Now ain't that so damned profound

Bringin' home the bacon
And if I'm not mistaken
Blast you with my raygun
Cause I'm bringin' home the bacon

And if the squirrels steal your nuts
And if you think you're going nuts
If you're about to lose control
Just stick your head inside a hole

Drank all the whiskey, drank all the wine
Pour me a drink before we're out of time
Drugs in my coffee and I'm feeling fine
Make her my wife but that doesn't rhyme

Drank all the whiskey, drank all the wine
Pour me a drink before we're out of time
Drugs in my coffee and I'm feeling fine
Make her my wife but that doesn't rhyme

Check out them scumbags slopping around
She had an azz you just had to pound
Check out them weasels flopping around
Now ain't that so damned profound

Bringin' home the bacon
And if I'm not mistaken
Blast you with my raygun
Cause I'm bringin' home the bacon...

(repeat until fade)

' Sartisohn 2003