Come on down, come on down
Welcome to the gameshow – here’s to your good health
Lose that frown, lose that frown
Everybody’s happy in the gameshow - your chance to better yourself

Take the money or open the box
Take one last lonely look at all those things you lost
You never win
You never win
On the gameshow

Turn the card, turn the card
You could cruise around the world in your armchair, but you won’t get far
Big money, big money
You’d be in it if the whole game wasn’t unfair, never be a superstar

Star prize is still well out of reach
You must have won at least a thousand zeroes each
You never win
You never win
On the gameshow

(commercial breakdown)

Just keep your eyes glued to the screen
This fifteen minutes of fame is all you’ll ever need
Now wipe away that manic grin
You never win
You never win
On the gameshow