He thought of religion
But studied the pigeons, the gnats and the trout
And comfy and regal
On H.M.S. Beagle, he headed down South
But interdependence of avian attendants and fossilised remains
Opened the floodgates, his brain shaked
And look what tumbled out

Charlie and his family tree
Stretch back to infinity
Look at the pages behind him
Further than Charlie can see

Charlie and his ancestry
Beached up on a shore was he
Trying to go a bit further
Getting away from the sea

His blasphemous theories
provoked many queries
Including the pope
They thought he was evil
And didn't believe all the things that he said
And 'Divine intervention beats natural selection
We really are opposed'
So he gave a grin, and took a swim
But didn't get out of his clothes

Charlie and his family tree
Once a primate fantasy
Use an opposable digit
Think of the things we could be

Back again a million more
He was a protoplasmic spore
Time flies when you're having fun
But most of the time it's a bore

There was a garden where they planted the tree
The tools were somewhat different then
How rich the primal soup must be
To grow it to infinity
And we'll never need that recipe again

His wife known as Emma
She faced a dillema
Frustrated again
He had more than four kids but fertilised orchids
A lot more than Em!
But it was ironic
That he got a chronic disease from something so
Under-evolved
An insect so bold
And he croaked in 1882

Charlie and his family tree
Stretch back to infinity
Look at the pages behind him
Further than Charlie can see

Charlie and his ancestry
Beached up on a shore was he
Trying to go a bit further
Getting away from the sea

Charlie and his family tree
Once a primate fantasy
Use an opposable digit
Think of the things we could be

Back again a million more
He was a protoplasmic spore
Time flies when you're having fun
But most of the time it's a bore

Charlie and his family tree
Ooooh