I am ready and I'm willing
I am swollen with the longing
for someone new
I am ready and I'm willing
I am hungry with desire
for new

I peel off my clothing
and I pull up my stockings
and I push up my bra
and I shake up my hair

I suck in my stomach
and screw up my courage
and smile through my nervous
and lie in your bed

because you tell me I'm lovely
but I know I am awful
and I tell you I want you
but don't know if it's true

don't want to feel winded
from news unexpected
don't want to feel slighted
by choices I don't have
don't want to feel worthless
when those words stop coming
but I do and I will
and I never can stop it

i just don't want to feel shame like the sun
burning my eyelids at dawn and
yet i can't bear the thought of waking up
alone