There’s a man in the corner kinda talkin’ to himself
There’s a guy with his teeth in a jar
There’s a whole lotta bottles all lined up a shelf
I guess that’s why they call it a bar
I sit in this chair throwin’ songs in the air
And the bartender blows me a kiss
If this is success my life is a mess
I’m Getting Too Old For This

There’s a bee hived mini skirted hungry divorcee
With a boyfriend who chews broken glass
There’s a guy drinking shots and beers by himself
And a loser who’s making a pass
My guitar’s out of tune, at the back of the room
There’s a madman who’s clenching his fist
If this is the top my life is a flop
I’m Getting Too Old For This

Someone’s mama told me there’d be days like this
It’s like I can’t get out of the stall
I feel like a tourist on a corner in New York
Sayin’ “Can you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?”
(Practice, man, practice)

There’s a guy who keeps tellin’ me how to do my job
And some drunk wants to sing in the mike
There’s a Walkman wearing skin head punker with a twitch
And at least one guy looking to fight
There’s a guy drinkin’ fast ‘cause it don’t seem to last
A couple involved in a kiss
If this is the end, forget it my friend
I’m Getting Too Old For This