Well, I've got junk in my trunk, can't wait til I get hiiiigh,
And I know that everything is gonna be alriiiiight,
So let's get on the ground and do the worm,
Because I'm just a little tweaked out paaachyyydeeeerm,
Well I've got junk in my trunk and I can't remember why,
(Cause he's so high),

Well I've tried all kind of things to get me by,
But nothing ever seems to get me quite as high,
As cutting a line on the floor of the savannah,
Then sucking it up through a hollowed out banana,
No greater feeling than feeling like I can fly,

I know I shouldn't take this stuff,
But I just can't get quite enough,
I sometimes wish I had some way
Of keeping this desire at bay,
But no one ever says a word,
I find that troubling, quite absurd,
I guess I'm part of my own herd,
I get my jollies, not from herbs,
And when it's time to do my chores,
I only think of my next score,
It takes a lot cause I'm a jumbo,
Massive junkie, cracked out Dumbo-ooo
(snort noise)

I got kicked outta my herd, and I don't know what to do,
So I went to the jungle, had a chat with my buddy Baloo,
But when the junk wore off, nobody else was around,
Except me and myself, and that guy I don't like,
But he looks like me too, and he's starin' at me,
And I wish that he'd stop, but I don't think he will,
And he's judging me, I can tell, and...and...
(heavy breathing)
I think it's time I get help, me and this junk are through,

Well now I've cleaned up my act, got a wife, had a little calf,
Made it through ok, so I can look back, and now I can laugh,
I'm a happy guy, I haven't fallen off the wagon,
And I'm not being chased by a giant freaking dragon,
I suppose it's kinda weird that I'm married to a giraffe,

It's not as weird as you might think,
It only took a couple drinks
Before she saw it in my eyes,
As something inside starts to rise,
I said to her, 'Your place or mine'
She said, 'We're outside, here is fine,'
'But won't the others start to stare?'
She said 'what makes you think I care?'
And so we started procreating,
Long before we started dating,
Now we have this mutant daughter,
I need something nicer to call her,

(Trumpeting solo outro)