I started writing songs in the early 90s, and began putting music to them in 96. In the latter part of 96, I got the brilliant idea to purchase a computer program that allowed the user to mix music loops and record vocals. This opened LOTS of possibilities to me, and I began to go at my music with more energy. My thoughts at the time were, of course, that I could really make it!
In 2001, I began to understand more about myself, which led to the writing of some much deeper and introspective songs and poems. I discovered that inside I had always known wrong from right, regardless of any justification. I'd grown up in the "church," but everything up to the point of my reawakening had been words and routine. There had never been any real life to it. My actions had proven this.
Instead of returning to God, though, I became depressed and suicidal. I was certain that I was worthless, and that Hell was the only place that would take me- albeit grudgingly. During this time of my life, my songs, poems, stories all took a very dark turn until I eventually stopped writing all together, finally putting up my dreams of music completely.
Then, in 2006 YHWH decided that was enough moping from me and hit me over the head with inspiration. For the first time in years, I felt alive. Beyond that even, because the inspiration hadn't come from my own study and conclusions, but from on high.
Now, once again, I stand on the edge of that new album. I've got the new album jitters and the new album trepidation. In the end, I know I've got nothing to fear. I've been to rock bottom, and while I was there I learned to rely on Jehovah Jirah, the provider.
Now that I've learned to trust in God for everything, I'm returning to the mic.
(Note: Jehovah Jirah, YHWH and Elyon are all names attributed to the God of the Bible. It is this God who also appeared as the son of man, Jesus the Christ, died as a sinless sacrifice, and rose from the dead. This is what I believe.)